Anokoblog

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

2008-09-06T16:25:00.002-04:00

Tailors really help me out, as it is hard to find a suit that fits a hedgehog well; for some reason we can't seem to rid ourselves of soldiers; and, judging by that guy at the other end of the bar who keeps looking over his newspaper at me, spies abound. But where are the tinkers?

When I was a child, we still had milk delivered to us. That did not last too long. But for quite a while after that one could still hear the bells of the tinker's truck rumbling up the street. These itinerant tinsmiths would drive around, offering to repair any little metal thing (mostly kitchenware) that one might need repairing. Mostly they would sharpen your knives for you. I remember watching them work in the back of their trucks on the sharpening wheel, in rapt attention as the sparks flew. The sound of the tinker's bell was almost as attractive to me as the ring of the ice cream truck. Now a "tinkerbell" is just some crap that Disney sells to little girls, and the ice cream truck plays some recorded music that drives me out of my tiny little insectivore mind (especially the one that bleats "hello, hello" in between its monotonous refrains.)

Now my kitchen is full of crappy cutlery that is best disposed of, except for a couple of nice knives that I occasionally scrape on an oiled stone, but can never quite get back to that beautiful blade that can really cut it.

Where have all the tinkers gone?

Singing About Obama

2008-08-24T19:12:00.001-04:00

It is my great pleasure to call to your attention over 150 (!) songs written in praise of the next President of the United States:

It's Veep Week

2008-08-19T20:12:00.006-04:00

One of the great things about living on a stool at the far end of the bar is the uninterrupted view of the TV screen. While all the booze hounds around me blab on about whatever their bosses, girlfriends, or sports teams are doing, I often get to watch inside-the-beltway hacks blab on about politricks and who's gonna trick who. This is especially fun on Sunday mornings as I sip a Bloody Mary and gnaw on some celery (note to fan club - hedgehogs love us some celery, hint hint).

So, in honor of Senator Obama's Veep Week, I want to go out on a limb and tell all of the Beltway Bastards that they are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Biden, Bayh, and Kaine don't stand a chance. Neither Sibelius nor Dodd nor Richardson. The one that everybody counts out will be the surprise of the season:

I present the next Vice-President of the United States of America: Hillary Rodham Clinton!

Remember, you read it here first. Or I could be wrong, in which case forget about it.
Actually, it will probably be Biden. Whatever.

More Obama Reggae

2008-08-02T06:28:00.000-04:00

Because I can't get enough.

A Few Words About Croaker

2008-07-23T17:13:00.016-04:00

I would like to bring your attention to our fine finned friend, pictured left, the Atlantic Croaker. These delightful fellows swim up and down the coast from Massachusetts all the way to the Gulf of Mexico, as far west as Texas. Luckily for me, they love to hang out in the Chesapeake Bay. They also go by the nommes de guerre of Drum and Hardhead. Their heads are indeed hard, but more unusual is the "croaking" or "drumming" sounds they make by vibrating muscles against their swim bladder. According to the folks at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch, Croakers are a very sustainable fish to catch, so we can enjoy this tasty treat and still feel good about loving our oceans .

And this is a very good thing, as they have firm white flesh, which is tender, with a mild sweet taste. They can be baked, broiled, or fried to bring out their flavor. Since it is the middle of July, I decided to grill the guy on the right - here he is just about done. Very simple preparation, just season with salt and pepper and rub with some olive oil and lemon juice. Let some pretty hot heat from a bed of coals do their smoky thing, and before you know it it's dinner time. And for the love of the Lord, don't take the head off! That would be so wrong, wrong, wrong.

And there he is - my plate overfloweth with fine firm fish flesh. Don't forget a nice light salad if you want a belly full of summertime satisfaction.

A strange thing happened, however. Long after my lips had been licked clean, I found this mysterious skeleton floating, midair, in my backyard garden. I guess fish will float, no matter what sea they find themselves in.

Thigh Delight

2008-07-22T17:10:00.004-04:00

There is a lot to like about thighs. I like to rub them all over...with a mixture of spices before putting them on the grill. With a little salad they are a great way to spend a long languid summer evening. That's what I was doing on July 18th, in case you were wondering about my alibi.

Carnival 2008

2008-07-20T22:50:00.009-04:00

This post is a little late, as the big Carnival parade was on July 12.
But we all want to see the hot Caribbean sights from right here in Baltimore.

This guy is having a REALLY good time with a couple of lovely ladies.

Later he ate some curry goat with plantains, rice & peas, and of course, some Red Stripe.

Now, on to the parade! Click on the pictures to make them big. I've got a lot more, some maybe soon come!

Tasty Treats

2008-06-26T18:09:00.005-04:00

Salmon cooked in olive oil and white wine, with garlic.
Zucchini (or courgette, if you don't come from around here) with summer squash and tomato
cooked with garlic, onion, basil, oregano, and thyme.
And, of course, a little parsley to brighten things up a bit.

Reggae Fi Obama

2008-06-23T17:15:00.001-04:00

Get Thee To A Fishmonger

2008-06-23T16:24:00.007-04:00

If you don't live near a market with a good fishmonger...
well, you just have to move.

White sea bass stuffed with tomatoes, onions, and bell peppers.

I Think There Are More Than Seven

2008-06-23T15:11:00.003-04:00

I must note the passing of one anti-authoritarian, from another:

Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits

It's like jazz....but surely we can think of more than seven!

LatinoFest 2

2008-06-23T12:39:00.013-04:00

I had so much fun Saturday that I went back for a couple of hours Sunday. Here are some pictures, just for un poco de sabor.

Reggaeton Singer Jancy pumped up the crowd

Later he led a dance contest at the Verizon tent. Nice shades.

La gente estaban maravilloso.

Many nations were represented.

Even Baltimore!

Obama was there

And so was Che

And finally, Los Hermanos Flores brought the Cumbia to the park.

As the sun set, they played the Salvadoran national anthem.

LatinoFest!

2008-06-22T17:34:00.025-04:00

I celebrated the Summer Solstice by going to Baltimore's LatinoFest in the lovely Patterson Park, a few blocks from my house. It was so much fun that I thought I would share a little bit with you. If only I could include the music, the smells, and maybe a papusa or two you might almost have as much fun as I did. As a consolation, here are some pictures:

There were little outfits for los niños

Patriotic stuff from every nation

Soccer Jerseys

And, of course, the Virgin of Guadalupe.

Now, on to the food!

This one looks pretty good...

Puerto Rico was well represented

Corn!

Papusas!

The Tasty Kiosk!! Arepas and a bunch of stuff that I could only order by pointing at!

Meat spinning over a fire, which is about the coolest thing meat can do before being eaten.

Margaritas being made by an alligator, pretty sweet.

I just stuck with cerveza, otra Dos Equis, por favor

Domino, perhaps the best game, I mean lifestyle, ever invented.

ESPN was running a tournament behind a big truck.

They had nice tables with built in racks,
but there's no way I could beat these guys.

There was a whole lot of dancing going on

These people were doing some kind of circle dance that looked like a lot of fun. I got to dance with some pretty girls, but, unfortunately, there is no way I can have that much fun and take pictures at the same time.

The best part of the day was the main event,
Eddie Palmieri and his band La Perfecta II.
9 time Grammy Award winner.
If you need to know more Google it quick, and get up and dance!

The Man!

That says it all

YES - they rock the Latin Jazz!

I'll just leave you with that tease for now, because I had so much fun Saturday that I had to go back Sunday. There is life in the city.

Back to Theme

2008-06-14T14:02:00.004-04:00

I'm actually rather tidy. My room mate, however, let's things slide a bit:

Back to the Blogs!

2008-06-14T13:39:00.002-04:00

Due to popular demand from small spiny nocturnal insectivores everywhere, I have decided to return to the blogs. Lots of unnecessary opinions and wonderful pictures will follow. Since I don't have anything to say right now, I will post a short poem I wrote to get things started.

They were so small
yet so large
so few
yet so many
just like me
yet so different
so far away
but somehow
right here in front of me

I knew them by their first names
Fred, Harriet, Abbie, Emma, Ken, Janis, Martin, Billie, George, Nanny, John
ordinary names
that somehow signify
so much more than
ordinary names

wingless angels
dancing before me
not on the head of a pin
but on the head
of a pen.

R.I.P. Mike

2006-05-10T00:44:00.000-04:00

One of my neighbors passed away recently. His name was Mike, although we called him crazy Mike, on account of him being crazy. This is the last picture taken of him alive, so he is a little beat up.

If you want to know more about him there is a pretty good article in the Baltimore Sun here.

I Must Retire

2006-03-18T04:16:00.000-05:00

With regard to the world around me, I must retire. I thank the Lord that I have been blessed with spines to protect me against this awful reality. I made a lot of mistakes. I will come out of here when things have calmed down a bit. I hope it is soon.

Meanwhile, here is a picture of a huge Australian hedgehog. I bet he drinks lots of beer and wrestles crocadiles and kangaroos.

Illuminati Or Bust

2006-03-17T01:59:00.000-05:00

I have often been asked what a wizend old nocturnal insectivore such as myself does to keep his mind sharp and his body limber. Well, I have tried many things in my short, spiny life.

I have studied feng shui, astrology, numerology, tarot and the kabbalah.

I have tried the healing arts of herbalism, shiatsu, tantra, and ayurvedic medicine.

I have prayed to the Orishas of Voudoun and Santeria.

I have practised yoga, meditation, sweat lodges. the Christian Mass, slam dancing & ecstatic dance, the Seder, ecumenical services, crcumcision, and ceremonial entheogenics.

I have participated in the ceremonies of Anglicans, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Roman Catholics, Wiccans, the Rainbow Family and the Twelve Tribes of Israel (Ras Tafari).

I am familiar with the practises of the Golden Dawn and the O.T.O.

I have advocated for anarchism.

I have recited the Pledge of Allegiance.

I have been a member of the Boy Scouts of America, the Civil Air Patrol, The Yippies!, the I.WW. and the Green Party.

I have engaged in various conspiracies, and researched other ones.

All of this has lead up to the final knowledge of the Illuminati. The whole thirty-third degree and then some.

And to sum it all up: don't go there. It's not worth it. If you try to get to that eye in the triangle, you'll just get burned. Unless you can get an army of hedgehogs to lead the way.

My Cat Will Kick Your Ass

2006-03-08T23:01:00.000-05:00

My cat was was in a pretty bad mood after receiving a face full of birdshot from the Vice-President (yes, THAT Vice-President) during a recent weekend outing on a mutual friend's ranch. Unlike certain ancient blood sucking Republican lawyers, Bunny doesn't take any shit, not even from Cheney. No one was going to see Bunny apologizing in the press for the trouble caused by getting a face full of lead from some rich white dude who thinks he has all the power.

The shot just bouced off of his thick fur like pin pong balls on a trampoline anyway. But he was still mighty pissed. It's the principle of the thing.

So if any of you out there are contemplating any untoward acts, to Bunny or any of his friends, be forwarned: he will kick your ass.

Down The Urban Trail

2006-02-24T01:46:00.000-05:00

On a rare sunny day in February I decided to hike a bit of the Gwynns Falls Trail, a 15 mile urban green space. Sort of. Of course nothing's green this time of year, but the bit I hiked was through the middle of town, ending at the huge BRESCO incineration plant. It is located in the midst of two major highways, the main north-south railways running through town, and the mouth of the Middle Branch of the Patapsco river. For some reason the name of the river is pronounced "patapsico," I don't know where the extra vowel came from. Anyway, here are two pictures of the urban wetland.

The Days Are Getting Longer

2006-02-21T22:52:00.000-05:00

Sipping whiskey the other night it occurred to me that I feel old. We hedgehogs do not live many years, and if we are lucky enough to end our days free of trauma, we usually die of cancer. Not a thought one wants to dwell on.

It's been a while since I was even close to being good looking, my spines tend to stick out in random directions and my teeth are yellow.

But even though I find I need to spend more time burrowed in my nest, when I am on my game I'm still pretty tough. I can still cover a dozen miles over rough terrain with a full pack on a summer afternoon. I still know more than any man in the room about the most obscure subjects, although the obvious ones often elude me. I can still write a pretty good pop song in a couple of hours with nothing more than a computer and a six pack. And I like to take pretty pictures. The one above is where I live. It's a pretty nice place. My landlords are cool, the food is good, and the bathroom is always clean. I guess that's all a hedgehog can really ask for.

A Thousand Words

2006-02-15T09:29:00.000-05:00

Quantum Snow

2006-02-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

First, I must add a view of my beloved Fells Point in the snow. This is the Bond Street Wharf viewed from Thames Street, facing east

Now, back to the bar stool.

My One True Fan persuaded me to view the brilliant motion picture "What The (Bleep) Do We Know"

It reminded me of the immortal words of the philosophers known as the Firesign Theater:

"How can you be in two places at once if you're not anywhere at all?"

On The Other Hand

My One True Fan called me this afternoon on the super secret hedgehog phone. I awoke from my semi-hibernation, for surely this must be important news.

"Anokoblogger," she breathlesly intoned, "the vice-president just shot somebody!"

For some reason that sent us both into gales of laughter.

"Quick," she said, her voice trembling in passion, "turn on CNN!"

I nodded to the bartender, who changed the channel.

There was a video montage of the VP, his target, and a bunch of Saudis and GI's while infobots voiced concern about a bunch of Old White Guys shooting each other when they're s'posed to be runnin' things. It's been a bad winter for The Man.

Shakes My Brains

2006-01-17T00:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, I admit it. This whole Snakes On A Plane thing has gotten inside my spines a bit too much lately. (I'm not even going to provide a link, if you don't know, look it up yourself) . Since I prefer rooting for grubs and drinking straight Kentucky bourbon whiskey to flying (not to mention being on the list), and am one of the few insectivores that can fight off even the most vicious of snakes, it is not the visceral emotion behind the image that disturbs me. It is the powerful symbolism that even my weak eyes can see mirrors the desolate landscape beyond the end of the bar.

Besides being an eloquent expression of the futility of life itself, and every undertaking pertaining thereof, it is also a poignent sign of our times.

Woke up this morning to the noise of drunken singing outside my window, mixed with jackhammers and police sirens (not unusual). You know what that sounded like. That's right - it was SoaP.

I won't even discuss work.

Planes have been harbingers of doom at least since Eno promised us that burning airlines would give us so much more, if not since Icarus.

But twenty-first century planes have snakes. What ultimate, unending doom.

War all the time. Global torture. Spies everywhere, especially in every electronic device you own, which is all that you own - or rent. No schools. No doctors. No fuel. Three jobs, but no money. I guess you could call what we eat food. Lots of jails. Plenty of snakes on plenty of planes.

Snakes on planes: smile when you say that, pardner.

Out Of Hibernation

2005-12-17T01:41:00.000-05:00

It has been one year since I emerged from the far end of the bar to sniff out what's going on in the cold, cruel world out there. The only change I can smell in the wind is that my own natural sense of fear and loathing of most things not related to straight Kentucky bourbon and grubs has spread across the land like an all enveloping smog. Rummy still cowers inside the Pentagon, just as he did on 9/11, but it seems that W. can't get that damn spot off of his hand.

As always, my one true fan had it right with her comment on last December's post.

Rumsfeld's Hubris

2004-12-16T16:14:00.000-05:00

I do not subscribe to the Great Men view of history that I was taught in school. I believe that Great Men are as much at the mercy of history as everyone else. Perhaps this is because I am not a Great Man, but instead a small, spiny nocturnal insectivore.

Great Men, on the other hand, really like that view of history. Since they, and their lackeys, also think that history is their perogative, that's the history we get taught. The problem is the past won't stop interfering with the present.

See, if you think you are a Great Man and you are Writing History, then you think nothing can stop your plans. Understandably, the Great Man's lackeys are loathe to question the wisdom of his plans, and those that do are soon out of a job.

Since the Great Man in not Writing History, but living it, his plans must always, as the poet says, gang oft a'gley. And sometimes the world, startled by a voice like that of the child in the story, will see that the Emperor wears no clothes

And that brings us to Donald Rumsfeld. A common soldier stood up in front of God and everybody and stated the obvious: this war is going to hell and the Pentagon never prepared for any of this. This of itself is perhaps not so shocking a thing. People have been damning this war for months, begging for more war, as if that would somehow justify the death that has gone on before. It's not how many are killed, it's who comes out the winner.

This time it was Rumsfeld himself who pointed out his nakedness. His response to the soldier, dismissing the armed forces as being just the Army he has, not, "the Army you want or wish to have at a later time" will probably be the words that end his career at the Pentagon. Anyone who cares knows that this is precisely the Army Donald Rumsfeld wanted, against the protests of Generals such as Tommy Franks, who felt that twice as many troops would be needed. Now calls for Rummy's resignation are being heard from Left to Right, from Democrat Evan Bayh to Republican John McCain and all the way to ultra right wing Republican Trent Lott of Mississippi.

Oh how the mighty must fall. It was but months ago that Rummy was the studly toast of the Beltway. His mug adorned magazine covers, and he was crowned the sexiest member of the Cabinet. His crew had Colin Powell cowered in submission, and his buddy Dick Cheney openly told Democratic Senators to "fuck themselves" right on the Senate floor. What heady days those must have been.

Now it seems his days are numbered. It's only a matter of time before he slinks out of the Pentagon and into some corporate office mumbling something about spending more time with his family before collecting a Medal of Freedom and a Presidential Pardon. It's a tough life at the top.

War Everywhere

2004-12-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

My eyes don't see much from my perch at the end of the bar, and my nose is often distracted by the scent of tasty grubs and crickets, but my big ears are always on the alert for alarming sounds. I have heard a few in recent days, but I just now discovered a common thread.

I have been distracted by the news in the Ukraine. Confident in my spiny armor's ability to protect me, I am an eternal optimist. The people out east appeal to this nature. The state holds all the cards: the army, the police, the media, control of the election apparatus, and the backing of a nuclear armed world power on its border. The opposition has (the probable backing of western clandestine organizations), and the power of the people in the street. The parenthetical backing to the contrary, it is the people in the street that has created this opening for democracy. My spines quiver at the thought of one of the largest countries in Europe engaging in the refusal of work and the affirmation of the right of people to peaceably assemble and speak freely and engage in the carnival of democracy.

That's the good news.

NOW: BACK TO THE WAR

I was going to write a bit more about Iraq, maybe I'll get to it Saturday, but I still must note the two main items. They are simultaneous and both fall under the category of we told you so, so I will treat them in no particular order.
1. U.S. Troop Level in Iraq to Grow
This is so I told you so as to be laughable, if it were but comedy. A plan that had never been considered a year ago, but well known yet delayed two months ago. More on that later.
2.President Bush Says Iraqi Elections Must Not Be Delayed
Install that puppet government pronto! This thing is costing me billions by the hour, and we're still years from turning a profit! More on that later.

BRINGING THE WAR BACK HOME

My big ears brought it all back home tonight when I heard of the DVD now being distributed on the streets of Baltimore. It is an al-Queada style production, but it's aimed at the foot soldiers of the war on drugs. Called "Don't Snitch" it is an urban drug warrior indocrination guide, with hip-hop music and graphic footage of stool pigeons being murdered by men in masks. Appeals to the "clan" and the economic control of territory are the main themes. Sound familiar?

In Haiti, where Appologist of State Colin Powell just ducked out of the Presidential Mansion under a hail of gunfire, anti-coup insurgents beheaded members of the CIA-backed militia in an action they call "Operation Baghdad."

Baghdad, Port Au-Prince, Kiev - these places are not so far away. Even from my perch at the far end of the bar, no matter how much I hide behind my spines, we are connected in ways no one could have predicted, even a few winters ago.

And Beautiful Easter Eggs

2004-11-23T16:15:00.000-05:00

From my perch at the end of the bar, your fearless Anokoblogger has been receiving good news. First, I have learned that the crickets and grubs will be especially fat and juicy for this year's Thanksgiving feast. And second, I have heard of our friends in the Ukraine - a land known for its love of spiny nocturnal insectivores - taking to the streets to shake off the yoke of their corrupt rulers.

There are many Ukranian immigrants living in the Anokoblogger's corner of the universe. There is a beautiful Ukranian Orthodox cathedral but a few blocks from my local pub, sporting shiny golden onion domed towers that can be seen from far and wide. They are always of good cheer, ready to share a glass of aquavit in winter and holding wonderful festivals out in Patterson Park in the summer. At springtime, the neighborhood is full of intricately decorated Easter eggs, surely the finest in all of Christendom.

And now the news comes of an autumn festival of freedom, with hundreds of thousands filling the streets of Kiev around the clock, vowing not to leave until the current government gives up power. True democracy is always displayed by the festival, the carnival, the refusal of work and the insistance of autonomy. The peaceful revolutions of the recent decades in the East are an inspiration to the world that when the people lead, the leaders must follow.

These revolutions stand in stark contrast with the arrogant regime change practiced by the Yankees in Iraq. Democracy can never be imposed from above, let alone from without. The world can see the difference between an invasion and a revolution. Millions will condemn the former, while celebrating the latter.

Cocktails for Drowning Sorrows

2004-11-18T22:36:00.000-05:00

From our vantage point at the end of the bar, we can't help but notice that the pub is undergoing a change of season. Now that we have all of that election nastiness behind us, people are turning their attention to more convivial pursuits. Yes, gentle reader, the time for holidays and merry making is almost upon us.

In this spirit your fearless Anokoblogger has an offering of special libations to enliven any soiree. Each one has been designed by the Anokoblogger himself, and tested by the usual assortment of nefarious characters at hand.

First, on the occasion of the opening of the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library we have:

Monica Lewinsky
1 1/2 oz White Rum
1/2 oz Blue Curacao
Cream

In a cocktail shaker, mix rum and curacao well with ice. Pour a small amount of cream into a cocktail glass. Slowly strain the rum and curacao into the glass, so that the cream "stains" the bottom, but doesn't mix. Garnish with a cherry.

But those were the good old days. Sorrows these days are tougher to drown, so now we have a couple of high caliber cocktails designed to blow those cares to kingdom come.

Suicide Bomber
3 oz Orange Vodka
splash lime juice
Serve over ice, in a rocks glass.

Rocket Propelled Grenade (or RPG)
3 oz Rum
1 1/2 oz Pineapple Juice
1/2 oz Grenadine
Mix rum and pineapple juice with ice and pour into highball glass. Add grenadine and serve garnished with orange slice.

But the biggest bummer of all this holiday season is four more years of that smirking, murderous Pretender in Thief, W. So we present the strongest for last, use only with caution.

George W.
1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz "43" liquor
1/8 oz cocaine
Mix first two ingredients well with ice in cocktail shaker. Strain through the panties of a cheerleader into a cocktail glass decorated with a tiny paper "missile defense" umbrella. Garnish with cocaine.

Those are but a few of the cocktails we will need to survive the coming season of cheer. Don't hesitate to share your favorite recipes with the Anokoblogger and his staff of willing anokolackeys. We'll test them all for a spiny and nocturnal year-end review of the tastiest and most medicinal slayers-of-sorrows that we can find.

Fly

2004-11-17T23:39:00.000-05:00

A flying pigeon breathes 450 times per minute, while a running person breathes only 30 times per minute.

Puritans and Neocons

2004-11-09T19:04:00.000-05:00

Perhaps the most terrifying aspect of W's election is the degree to which the credit for his victory is going to the Christian right wing. These are people, millions of them, who will vote for an administration that will rob them and their children blind - as long as we keep the gays from getting married. People for whom death is too good for jailbirds, Arabs and even our own soldiers - as long as we don't donate a handful of cells to scientific research. People who can't admit to evolution, people with a seriously delusional view of the world.

In today's Guardian (UK), George Monbiot has some fascinating observations about the Bush administration's underpinning ideology. He takes us all the way back to the 1630's and English Puritans to explore the roots of their worldview. His observations concerning the economic ramifications of the Reformation say a lot about the modern United States and our obsession with Christian religion in our political life.

Monbiot writes:
"Puritanism was primarily the religion of the new commercial classes. It attracted traders, money lenders, bankers and industrialists. Calvin had given them what the old order could not: a theological justification of commerce. Capitalism, in his teachings, was not unchristian, but could be used for the glorification of God. From his doctrine of individual purification, the late Puritans forged a new theology. "

He draws a keen conclusion that should be a warning for those on the left who believe that capturing the "morals" vote is the key to achieving elected office:
"So why has this ideology resurfaced in 2004? Because it has to. The enrichment of the elite and impoverishment of the lower classes requires a justifying ideology if it is to be sustained. In the US this ideology has to be a religious one. Bush's government is forced back to the doctrines of Puritanism as an historical necessity"

The ideology of Christian Puritanism is ideally suited to the American mindset, and it cannot be coopted. It must be destroyed if we are to save our society and the Earth it threatens.

Four More Beers!

2004-11-08T19:45:00.001-05:00

Having researched the possibilities of emigrating to various foreign countries and renouncing citizenship in the Newnited Snakes of Murrica, and having determined them to be slim (no one wants to let in no Murricans) it is a bitter truth that the political leader of our glorious homeland is the lying, stinking, smirking, Pretender in Chief referred to simply as W., his full name too profane to pronounce in polite company.

Whilst our eyesight may be poor, our spiney hides bristle with optimism, and we know this is the best of all possible worlds. It is good, and just as well, that W. and his cabal of neoconsevative ideologues will spend the next four years having to clean up the mess they have made in the last four. Even though we have no sympathy for the long faced Bassett Hound the technocratic wing of the Repocratic Party put up against the dim witted yet vicious figurehead of the theocrats and their strange bedfellows the Machiavellian disciples of Leo Strauss, it still would have been a pity for one Skull & Bones man to be left with the discarded follies of another.

So good luck W., good luck Murrica, good luck World. You and your boys have gotten your precious elections, by hook or by crook. The whole of Xtian Murrica has the crusade they've always wanted, to arm the unborn, kill the gay heathen terrorists and consign the rest to a lifetime of slavery at Free Market Freedom Camps. We will continue to remain for more queers and for more beers and in fact for four more beers for four more queers!

Fate

2004-11-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

The Independent UK calls this "A day that will decide the fate of the world"

Kerry Wins?

2004-11-01T22:10:00.000-05:00

Today the Votemaster reports that, according to the most up to date polling data, John Kerry will defeat George W. Bush in tomorrow's election for President of the United States. Don't know who the Votemaster is? Then you have been missing out on the most informative reporting on and analysis of opinion polls available during this, the most polled election in history.

Also today, the Votemaster revealed his true identity. As fascinating as his reporting and analysis over the last year has been, the story of who he is and why he did it is a must read for anyone even vaguely interested in American politics, weblogs and the World Wide Web. If you are reading this blog, you owe it to yourself to visit his page and check out his story. The votemaster is the kind of selfless individual that makes the Web a worthwhile endeavor for the advancement of human knowledge, whether those damn polls mean anything or not.

It's Your Choice

2004-10-31T20:54:00.000-05:00

Nobody Revisited

2004-10-30T18:41:00.000-04:00

Just in time for the Really Big Election, we take a look back from the lofty heights of the Anokoblog Global HQ at the champion of the last campaign, and the momentous events that lead to his victory. We refer not to the Pretender in Chief Bush, he lost the vote. Neither do we refer to his Repocratic challenger, Al Gore. After all, he is clearly not in the White House. We are talking about the true winner of Campaign 2000, Nobody.

Our dear friends at the Baltimore Washington Psychogeography Association toiled long and hard on the Campaign for Nobody, yet all were astounded by his stunning victory. While your fearless Anokoblogger respects the rights of all citizens to vote against the candidate of his or her choice, please consider the Ten Point Program of Nobody, put forth four years ago:

TEN POINT PROGRAM OF THE CAMPAIGN FOR NOBODY

1.Nobody will cancel all debt
For the lending class rules those in debt

2.Nobody will establish the ten-hour work week
For we must run like clocks

3.Nobody will destroy the prison-industrial complex
For prisons form the perfect industry

4.Nobody will abolish positions such as prison guard, banker, stockbroker, and so on
For bankrupt work pays best

5.Nobody will abolish the wage system
For wages amount to less than their illusions

6.Nobody will abolish currency
For we think in the language of money

7.Nobody will put an end to polluting Mother Earth
For she is our to dominate and destroy

8.Nobody will turn off the military-entertainment complex
For war completely infiltrates daily life

9.Nobody will replace all pharmaceuticals with botanicals
For the pharmaceutical industry is second nature

10.Nobody will legalize revolution
For laws govern civil war

To read the entire mind bending saga of the Campaign For Nobody, leading to the stealing of the Inauguration of Nobody by the Pretender in Chief Bush, go here .

Your Security is Not in the Hands of Kerry or Bush or al-Quaeda

2004-10-29T19:01:00.000-04:00

Just in time to spook you on Halloween, Osama (the Lion) bin Laden reappears on our TV screens, glowing like a jack o' lantern. His latest missive is apparently addressed directly to the American people, a new twist in the saga of the would be warrrior philosopher, who until now concerned himself more with speaking to the Muslim community. Is he trying to sway the election? No. He knows it matters not a whit to Allah whether Kerry or Bush is the head of the snake that is the Great Satan. As all who know the Koran understand, Allah is concerned with the family of the faithful, and even Osama has some faith in the American people to control their own destiny. "Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al-Quaeda," he says.

I think the Lion must be a fan of Michael Moore, however. He took some time out of his rare video appearance to mock Bush for sitting, reading from a children's book, while the jihadis were flying jetplanes into the World Trade Center. Bush's indifference, Osama said, made the attacks of September 11 more successful than he anticipated. How many bootleg copies of "Farenheit 9 11" dubbed in Arabic are floating around the Muslim world?

Osama is, perhaps, a narcissist, a wealthy but relatively unlearned man who fancies himself a philosopher but depends upon spectacular violence to promote his ideas and those of his comrade, the more learned doctor al-Zawahri. But for once he has told the truth, to an audience that cannot hear, "Your security is in your own hands"

Over 1/3rd of Ex-Soldiers Fail to Report for Duty

2004-10-26T18:10:00.000-04:00

CNN reports that at least 843 members of the Individual Ready Reserve have failed to report to duty after being called up to serve in Iraq. This represents about 37 percent of those who have received the call up. The IRR consists of people who were honorably discharged after finishing their active duty tours, but still are on call for the remaining years of their eight year commitment to the Army. CNN reports:

"That the Army has had to reach so deeply into its store of reserve soldiers is a measure of the strain the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns have put on the active-duty Army. When the American invading force toppled Baghdad in April 2003, the Army thought it would be sending most of its soldiers home within months. Instead, it has kept 100,000 or more there ever since."

The last time members of the IRR were called to duty was in 1990, when nearly 20,000 were called

In addition to those who have failed to report, at least 1498 have asked for delays or exemptions from duty. This represents an ever more increasing number of those refusing to work amongst military members who, for whatever reason, do not feel their initial committment entails their participation in this particular war.

The military has stated repeatedly that they do not want to prosecute those who fail to appear, and that they are trying to resolve these cases as quietly as possible. It is surprising that they have even allowed these numbers to be made public.

Here at Anokoblog World HQ, we endorse the refusal of work as the most effective resistance to injustice, whether on the shop floor or the battlefield. As we also believe the current war in Iraq is unjust and illegal, we applaud these soldiers for risking their freedom to resist the war, and encourage all those who feel able to take that risk to do so. We support our troops, those who stay home, and those who need our collective action to bring them home.

Boston's Killer Cops

2004-10-22T08:40:00.000-04:00

21-year-old Victoria Snelgrove, a journalism major at Emerson College, was killed by Boston cops attempting to control a crowd of revellers near Fenway Park after the Boston Red Sox historic victory over the New York Yankees early Thursday. She had been hit in the head by what the police call a "non-lethal projectile." These particular bullets are filled with pepper spray.

Authorities need to stop referring to these weapons as "non-lethal." Studies have shown that police are more willing to use force when they have been trained to believe that the weaponry they are employing is "non-lethal." Reports from Boston indicate that while the crowd near Fenway was large, and many of its' members drunken, it was mostly peaceful, merely celebrating a victory that was celebrated across the country. Throughout the city there was a total of eight arrests, mostly for disorderly conduct. Snelgrove has been described as an innocent bystander engaging in no unlawful behavior. Imagine what these police would do if confronted with a truly angry crowd engaging in politically motivated civil disobedience?

There have been many instances of "non-lethal" weaponry killing people. Some types of tear gas employed by local and federal police departments in the United States, such as CS, are prohibeted weaponry under the Geneva Convention. Yet they are routinely used upon our own citizens. I imagine getting shot in the eye with a projectile full of pepper spray is a particularly painful way to die. It is time to stop training police to engage in military tactics against domestic disturbances. And stop playing semantic games with "non-lethal" weapons.

Historic Upset - Bush White House Next

2004-10-21T08:01:00.000-04:00

The evil empire has been laid low by the Boston Red Sox, led in the seventh game by hirsute giant slayer Johnny Damon. Next comes the Bush White House, with Karl Rove taking the part of a mournful Joe Torre lamenting that his boys just couldn't get the job done. Onward through the fog!

Honest Journalist Takes Fall For The Truth

2004-10-19T08:35:00.000-04:00

As your fearless Anokoblogger predicted, Jon Leiberman was fired for telling the truth about his bosses craven attempt to sway the election by broadcasting Republican propaganda on the eve of what will be the closest election in modern times. From today's Baltimore Sun:

"Sinclair Broadcast Group fired its Washington bureau chief yesterday after the reporter criticized plans for an hourlong program on 60 stations that will include incendiary charges against Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry.

'I just think it's a shame that a journalist gets fired for telling the truth,' said Jon Leiberman, who had been the Maryland-based media firm's chief political correspondent for more than a year."

I just hope that Anokoblogger's other prediction from yesterday - that there is an outfit with the integrity to hire this courageous young man (with an increase in salary) - will come true. Full story here.

Sinclair Journalist Stands Tall

2004-10-18T13:17:00.000-04:00

A journalist working for the satanic media overloads of Sinclair Broadcast Group put his career on the line to tell the truth to his bosses. From today's Baltimore Sun:

"The Washington bureau chief for Maryland-based Sinclair Broadcast Group's news division angrily denounced his employer last night for plans to air an hourlong program that is to include incendiary allegations against Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry for his anti-war activism three decades ago.

'It's biased political propaganda, with clear intentions to sway this election,' said Jon Leiberman, Sinclair's lead political reporter for more than a year. 'For me, it's not about right or left -- it's about what's right or wrong in news coverage this close to an election.'"

The 29 year old Leiberman might lose his job after going public with his sentiments, but I would bet that some larger and more respectable organization that actually values integrity - unlike those reactionary corporate weasals at Sinclair - will snap him up in a heartbeat. If there is any justice in the immoral self-serving moarass of the modern media the job offers should be clogging his inbox even as I write.

Full story here.

I think I'll try a pint of that

2004-10-18T05:41:00.000-04:00

Beer is good. Good beer is a reason to live. and, as Mark Dorber says, "The best thing about beer is that because it is half as strong as wine, you can drink twice as much." For an engaging look at pairing tasty brews with fine food, go here.

Save the Freetown of Christiania

2004-10-17T06:45:00.000-04:00

Long Live the Freetown of Christiania!

The Danish government is once again trying to destroy the Freetown of Christiania, and it looks like time could be running out. But first, a little history....

The Freetown of Christiania is currently the world's longest lived contemporary anarchist community, now in its' thirty fourth year. It is an area of Copenhagen in Denmark that is home to around 1000 people, and is the second most visited tourist destination in Denmark. It is a community with a remarkable history and an uncertain future.

Christiania began in 1970, when a group of citizens looking for a playground and green space for their kids knocked down the fence of an abandoned military base in Copenhagen. Soon it filled with squatters, hippies, artists, anarchists and the like. They created art, served food, published a newspaper, and before long declared themselves an autonomous zone, a "Freetown." Before long they had their own flag, a form of "money", and the anger of the state to contend with.

Throughout the next thirty four years, Christiania grew. All forms of housing were created. Institutions such as theatres, childcare facilities, restaurants, sporting areas, parks, concert halls, beergardens and the like were established. People moved out, others moved in. Hippies were joined by punks and every other subculture known to Europe. It became a self-governing autonomous area, the highest governing board being a council in which all could participate, making decisions by consensus.

Needless to say, the authorities were not amused. From the beginning the Parliament and the police attempted to shut Christiania down. Their ire was drawn by everything from the appropriation of land abandoned by the State to the open use and sale of hashish. Over the years repeated, often violent confrontations with the authorities were endured by the citizens of Christiania. Yet the citizens resisted, negotiating with Parliament, giving some tactical concessions in order to retain as much autonomy as possible. Today they pay a token rent and tax for the land, and pay for the use of water and electricity provided by the State.

Even with these concessions, periodically reactionaries within Parliament and the Defense Ministry would insist that Christiania become "normalized." This year, Christiania faces the greatest threat it has seen in quite some time. The new government, an ally of the Bush administration in Washington, wants to regain a war footing, although with Europe in the most peaceful period of its entire history it is hard to see why. The Defense Ministry wants its' land back. The citizens of Christiania fear the bulldozers will soon be at the gates. Negotiations continue, but if conditions do not change it seems that Christiania will meet the same fate as all of the modern anarchist communities, from the Paris Commune on: death under the boot of the State.

Christiania is a fascinating story, a community with the good and the ills of any other, excepting perhaps the chokehold of authority on the creativity of its' citizens. For more information about the Freetown of Christiania go to Christiania. The site is in Danish, but if you click on the little English flag, there is a lot of information for English speakers as well.

Iraq: Update

2004-10-16T19:53:00.000-04:00

Just in case, gentle readers, any of you doubted my earlier comment about American troops being ordered to fire upon civilians, just go here .

Soldiers Think For Themselves

2004-10-16T03:25:00.000-04:00

News From the Work Resistance Front:

Jeremy Hudson, reporting for the Clarion-Ledger of Jackson, Missippi, broke the news yesterday of an entire platoon of soldiers in Iraq engaging in an act of work resistance, or what the military calls a mutiny.

"A 17-member Army Reserve platoon with troops from Jackson and around the Southeast deployed to Iraq is under arrest for refusing a "suicide mission" to deliver fuel, the troops' relatives said Thursday."

While this is big news, it is only part of growing resistance inside the ranks that started even before the invasion. The military is doing its best to cover up the level of resistance, but it has admitted, for instance, that there have been numerous instance of stateside soldiers failing to show up for deployment, and in the current issue of Mother Jones there is even an article about soldiers who have fled to Canada to avoid going to Iraq. There are several organizations of returning veterans protesting the war, including the Iraq Veterans Against the War. As more troops return home (if they can avoid being sent right back into the fray) we can expect more of these kind of reports. From further in the Clarion-Ledger article we read:

"Aviation regiments have complained of being forced to fly dangerous missions over Iraq with outdated night-vision goggles and old missile-avoidance systems. Stories of troops' families purchasing body armor because the military didn't provide them with adequate equipment have been included in recent presidential debates."

More and more we read not just of soldiers being unhappy with their own conditions, but also being horrified at being ordered to kill civillians. Increasingly, they are responding with desperate measures. The military reports a 40% increase in the rate of suicide since the war began. They will not admit just what the rate of AWOLs are, but they admit to it being on the increase.

It is to be expected that the military leadership would exhibit a callow disregard for loss of life. Their job, after all, is to kill people. And, as conditions inevitably deteriorate in this poorly planned adventure, that loss of life will include more and more of their own men and women. Men and women who are coming to the realization that they are fighting a war in the interests of only the corporate elites, not to defend the country they love. That they are being blown to hell for a pack of lies.

The more widespread these mutinies become - and we have no way of knowing how widespread they already are - the more untenable the war becomes. Whether it's the battfield or the shop floor, the witholding of labor is the greatest weapon of resistance we have in our struggle against the bosses. Spread the word: put down your tools and take a vacation for liberation!

It IS Something in the Water

2004-10-15T09:31:00.000-04:00

I bet you thought I was joking when I said the whole asexuality/penile erectile dysfunction thing was in the water. And, gentle readers, when I promised to get to the bottom of it all you probably thought, "Just more empty promises from that scoundrel Anokoblogger." Oh ye of little faith! Sure, I never return your phone calls, but check out what I have uncovered in a matter of mere hours. This morning's Washington Post, in a story by David A. Fahrentold, reports that male bass in the Potomac river are producing eggs!

"Scientists believe this inversion of nature is being caused by pollution in the water. But they say the exact culprit is still unknown: It might be chicken estrogen left over in poultry manure, or perhaps human hormones dumped in the river with processed sewage."

And these bass are not swimming in that open sewer where the Potomac meets the Anacostia and most citizens fear to tread, lest they come across a politician or a National League baseball stadium built on the backs of the Nation's Capital's poor. No, these bass are swimming far upstream, in the relatively pure waters of West Virginia. OK, maybe not that pure. Don't care about bass? Consider this:

" 'Whatever's doing this to the fish may be the canary in the mineshaft,' said Margaret Janes, a West Virginia activist with the Appalachian Center for the Economy and the Environment."

I know, those West Virginians think everything is in a mineshaft somewhere, but they're not as ignorant as is widely believed. This is not just some isolated thing. A stunning 79 percent of male bass surveyed had developed eggs inside their sex organs!

One of the contaminants that scientists are searching for is caffeine! Don't anyone dare tell me that coffee is bad for me. I'll have to go back to smoking crack on my morning commute. Other possible culprits include chemicals produced when a body breaks down nicotine, which pretty much kills two of the four basic food groups.

I can hear your wailing and gnashing of teeth, gentle readers, but there is more bad news from the wet set. In the same Washington Post, Juliet Eilperin reports that amphibians worldwide are experiencing a precipitous decline. As many as 122 species have disappeared since 1980, and 1900 others are in danger of becoming extinct. I don't know what mineshaft they're in, but I want out! Scientists say this is the equivalent of tens of thousands of years' worth of extinctions in less than a century. And it's not just frogs and their slimy friends. 32 percent of all amphibian species face extinction, but also 12 percent of bird and 23 percent of mammal species. Mammals! That's getting a little close to home.

"Surveys showed the amphibian population of Costa Rica's Monteverde Cloud Forest, for example, was stable until 1987. The next year it began to crash, and by 1989, 40 percent of its amphibian species had gone extinct, including the striking golden toad."

Not the golden toad! That's one of the noblest of all toads - except for that one that's really a prince - but I digress.

"Humans are responsible for amphibians' decline in other regions of the world, including China, where many are sought as a delicacy. The Chinese giant salamander -- at six feet the largest amphibian in the world -- sells for at least $300 on the street and makes for several meals, and it has now disappeared from nearly all its range"

Mmmmm.......salamander.....

All kidding aside, this is not good news. There is definately something in the water, and it's not frogs anymore. I'll leave the last word today to somone a bit wiser than I:

"Paul Ehrlich, a Stanford University ecologist, said the amphibian study is worrisome and shows that administration officials are 'destroying the working supports of our life system' by exploiting rather than conserving habitat. 'They're sawing off the limb that humanity is sitting on' Ehrlich said. 'Without biodiversity, we'd be dead.' "

Asexual Pride

2004-10-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

From New Scientist via CNN (with a tip of the Bunny ears to the lovely and talented Carla) we learn that about one percent of people have absolutely no interest in sex. Based on my experience with members of the opposite gender, that could be a low estimate.

"If asexuality is indeed a form of sexual orientation, perhaps it will not be long before the issue of 'A' pride starts attracting more attention," according to New Scientist. Already we have the Asexual Visibility and Education Network with an online store selling items promoting awareness and acceptance of asexuality, including a t-shirt proclaiming "Asexuality: it's not just for amoebas anymore" God bless capitalism.

According to the advertisements interrupting the nightly news, there is also an epidemic of penile erectile dysfunction. Not sure what the connection is - could be something in the water - but you can rest assured that your fearless Anokoblogger will get to the bottom of it soon.

Battle of the Rich White Guys

2004-10-14T10:15:00.000-04:00

It's the morning after the last great Battle of the Rich White Guys...at least for now. The field of glory is strewn with the bodies of pundits great and small. At last we know how our future Commanders in Chief feel about the women in their lives. No surprise here. Bush's ladies tell him to shut up, stand straight and smile (elementary school politics), and Kerry's gal advises: remember that no matter how rich he is, there's always somebody with more money. Both very sage words for a future president. After all, isn't that what the White House is all about?